Only I can fix me

The lovely Rose, Talisman’s sixth companion since last October, has been given her marching orders. So the comic opera continues! Rose was as good as gold for the first few weeks, so much so, that I even bought her some rugs on the basis I had found ‘the one’. There were some issues I was prepared to tolerate such as not being able to touch her hind legs, breaking away when tied up on most occasions and being a bit tricky to catch. But she was great with Talisman in the field and had no issues about him leaving her to work which was the biggest problem with her predecessors. Result!

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However, on the third of the four week trial, it all went pear shaped. Having made herself at home, put on some weight and got the measure of Talisman and me, her personality started to emerge which was great to see except that she became very dominant of Talisman in the field including ‘double barreling’ him on two occasions and only letting him drink from the trough when it suited her. Fortunately, he got away with just a couple of scratches.

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She also tried to dominate me, in that she would drive Talisman off when I wanted to catch him and herd him around the field. Plus she progressed from tricky to catch to virtually impossible. They also both spent a lot of time examining each other’s pooh and pawing it and Talisman also peed on Rose’s droppings like a dog marking his patch – most strange! So I decided enough was enough and separated them. The perfect solution has to be out there somewhere – I just need to find him or her before the winter arrives and the routine is a bit more complicated.

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With the weather remaining hot, punctuated by only occasional downpours, the ground has been scorched and the grass all but stopped growing. Even I have been struggling to find enough grazing for two horses on 10 acres! The only upside is that I haven’t had to spend endless hours on the tractor topping the ground which has freed up time for other things such as being a bit more sociable, which included a house guest last week.

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A special friend came for a few days refuge. She found herself in a dark place over the last few years with many issues, health and otherwise, running on empty and surviving on will power alone. I am pleased to report she went home smiling (and eating, which was a plus). I can officially say she has bounced off the bottom and begun the steady climb out of the abyss to health, happiness and realising her enormous talent which will be a gift to mankind one day. But it got me thinking….

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It’s so easy to lose our balance as life pulls and pushes us every which way on a daily basis. In fact, the moments of being in balance are generally the exception rather than the rule. Once things start to go wrong, of course, life can escalate out of control in the blink of an eye and we find ourselves negative, cynical and expecting the worst which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Regaining our equilibrium is an art form (which I so wish was taught in schools). First, you have to know what balance feels like. For me, optimal balance is feeling energised, positive, powerful, believing the world is a great place, seeing the good in people and situations and plenty of energy left over for others…..by any other name, happiness!

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So, by definition, everything else is ‘off balance’ and focused on the reverse, ie. all things negative which, ultimately, is based on fear. Often, it can be physical too, a tight feeling in the gut, tension, feeling vulnerable, poor sleep etc. So the quicker we recognise the clues, the quicker we can get ourselves back into a good place. That was the turning point for me when I was in a dark place some years ago which seemed to go on and on – the realisation that no-one and nothing could fix me but me. We can choose to wallow in unhappiness for hours, days, weeks, months or even years, feeling a victim of everything around us and prolonging the discomfort, or we can change it.

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How? I have used a variety of different techniques but it’s best to play around with a few yourself and find what works for you, so you have the fixes at hand when push comes to shove, which will happen for all of us, from time to time, no exceptions!

Pick a thought is one technique. Whatever you are worried about, pick a thought that is a slightly less worrying (basically, a little more positive), then another and another and repeat until the mood lightens. It’s a process of incremental change to your thinking.

Distraction. Focus on something different when a negative thought strikes, eg. look out of the window and observe a flower in the garden or notice the birds, pet your cat or dog, switch to a different task, watch a movie, or go for a run.

Theme tune. Find a song that inspires or amuses you. Sing it over and over in you head, or out loud if no-one’s around in times of need.

Visualisation. Imagine what you would like to happen in your life and add to this the feeling of it. Make it as intense as possible so you can almost reach out and touch it.

Re-frame your thoughts. Use affirmations to replace unwanted thoughts.

The more you practise, the better you will become at turning yourself around. Like any new skill, ‘perfect practise makes perfect’ until it becomes a new habit. I have made podcasts on many of the ideas mentioned above but will obviously now need to make a new one to elaborate on this theme – coming soon!

* * *

Pics: Feeding Rose; Talisman working on my grass canter hill, then spooking at the camera: me and my boy; Talisman and Bryngwyn are the best of friends; Talisman in a short new video called “Cantering on top of the world”; a sign spotted in the local village.

Videos & podcasts: Since my last blog, I have published a new ‘spiritual musing’ podcast called ”How to take charge of your body and your health“. Podcasts are also available in the iTunes store (search ‘Fiona Price practical spirituality for everyday living’). I have also published a short video set to music of Talisman and I doing some fitness training called “Cantering on top of the world“.

Facebook: In between blogs, I post on Facebook most days. You can select ‘Get Notifications’ for my Facebook page to be informed each time I post an entry.

NB. If you enjoy my content, please spread the word. Thank you!


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